Uniting in Love and Courage in a Time of Fear and Hate
January 2023 started with four mass shootings in California within a matter of hours. Goshen. Monterey Park. Oakland. Half Moon Bay. The shootings are happening now so frequently, that even the media can’t keep up with the carnage. Our emotional responses range from horror, anger, sadness, fear, pity and numbness. Our brains try to determine reasons and assign causations ranging from personal vendettas, gangs, drugs, mental illness, poverty, racism, workplace exploitation, easy access to guns, and the American culture of violence. With the recent spike in gun deaths, even though the majority of gun deaths are caused by suicide, as humans we focus on perceived threats from strangers. And when we look for solutions, it is easy for us to interpret the data to match our own biases (conscious or unconscious).
As people who dedicate ourselves to changing lives for good, how can we respond with both love and courage in these times that seem permeated with fear and hate? I can only share what seems to work for me, and you may have other ways that work for you that you may be willing to share. I go back to Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence. I feel deep concern for the people whose lives have been lost or injured, their family members, friends and coworkers. I am concerned about the perpetrators and their families. I am concerned about safety, about the culture of violence and the laws that allow easy access to firearms including weapons of mass destruction. But if I just stay in the Circle of Concern and don’t focus on what I can do, then I just feel helpless, angry, fearful and frustrated with my inability to change things that are out of my control. So, I move to the Circle of Influence. What difference can I make? What can I actually change? What can I actually do?
As a framework for action, I rely on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Hayes, Wilson and Strosahl) and Dr. Russ Harris’ ACT made simple. I accept the reality of the conditions of violence and suffering that our society is in. I accept my thoughts and feelings when I hear the terrible news. I commit to our Catholic Charities values and beliefs of compassion, service, and justice. And I take compassionate and courageous action based on my values and my strengths. As Ruth Soukup says in Do It Scared, “Courage doesn’t mean we are never scared. Courage is action in the face of fear.”
What that action looks like can vary from person to person. It might mean joining in a peace vigil, contacting policymakers, sharing peaceful perspectives on social media, praying or meditating, sharing in Healing Circles or Peace Circles, being a witness for peace and justice in everyday life, walking with people who are afraid or grieving or depressed, or dedicating one’s life work to personal or communal healing and breaking the cycle of violence.
At Catholic Charities we have amazing staff acting with courage and love to bring healing and hope to our families and communities. Through our Youth Empowered for Success we intervene and prevent violence by developing youth through pro-social activities, meaningful relationships and therapeutic supports. Through our Behavioral Health Service we help children, youth, families, adults and older adults address mental health issues, stabilize and thrive. Through our Advocacy and Community Engagement we work to build just and compassionate communities and parishes. As we develop trauma-informed care throughout our programs, we bring a spirit of dignity and respect to the families we serve.
I am grateful to be part of Catholic Charities as we witness with courage to the power of love in our communities.
Blessings,
Greg
